<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>My One And Only - Ticci Toby x Reader by Attaries</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28079145">My One And Only - Ticci Toby x Reader</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Attaries/pseuds/Attaries'>Attaries</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Creepypasta - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Brutal Murder, Creepypasta, F/M, Family Loss, Kidnapping, Loss of Identity, Loss of Parent(s), Loss of Trust, Loss of Virginity, Mild Blood, Murder, Murder Kink, Serial Killers, Stockholm Syndrome</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:34:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,239</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28079145</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Attaries/pseuds/Attaries</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Angelique Seffer is an average girl living a happy, normal life. Average grades, Average looks, Average family. She's nothing special, so how and why did she end up where she ended up?<br/>how is she going to fight against her captor?<br/>if she can.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hoody (Creepypasta)/Reader, Tobias Erin "Toby" Rogers | Ticci Toby/You, Tobias Erin "Toby" Rogers|Ticci Toby/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Average Average-ness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I'm nothing special, I do okay in school; and I'm kinda athletic. <br/>I have a bone condition that doctors can't figure out, so I'm kinda hindered with that. Not that it gets the better of me. Not that I let it. <br/>I have a happy family, my older sister died last month though; they said she was a victim of an animal, but it just seemed all too... Planned? <br/>I'm probably overthinking it, I do that alot. I'm panic-y. </p><p>I'm average in looks too, I take good care of my hair, I'm naturally a red-head but for the summer I dyed it pink. I like pink. It's to my lower back and falls in loose curls. If I leave it unbrushed after it gets wet though it bounces into tight curls which I'm not a fan of on my myself. I've got grey eyes, not green. I always get comments about not having green eyes to match my red hair. I don't know who got the idea that all redheads have green eyes, it's stupid. <br/>I'm tall for my age, I'm just 19, my birthday was the day my sister disappeared. Not happy about that. <br/>I stand at 5'10, most girls my age are shorter than me. Even guys my age are shorter than me. Not all though alot of guys are taller. <br/>I guess that's enough about me. I hate writing this stupid journal, what's even the point?</p><p>I sighed as I slammed the journal shut. Dropping my pen down next to it I sunk back into my desk chair. <br/>"What's even the point"<br/>I sighed, after my sister died I got a counsellor who said I should write one of these. It's just for him to read it and figure out what's in my head. I'm just grieving, just becuase I found her body doesn't mean I'm traumatised. I'm just- sad. <br/>That doesn't make me crazy! Gosh. </p><p>A gentle knock pulled me from my thoughts, I turned to face my bedroom door. My mother opening it walking it with a can of pepsi and some popcorn, she smiled. <br/>"Writing?"<br/>"Hmm, I hate it. It's so stupid"<br/>"Were just trying to make you feel better sweetheart"<br/>I sighed, I felt bad now. <br/>"I know, it's only been a month I'm going to be sad. I just- don't see the point in making me re-live it all to write down"<br/>I opened the can with one hand, sighing happily as I gulped down the cold, fizzy liquid. I liked Pepsi. So does my sister. Ah- no, she used to. I'm still getting used to things. </p><p>"Do you want to go out for a walk? It's nice and bright today"<br/>She smiled so nicely at me, I really love my mother, she does everything she can for me. My dad too! He's usually off in his study though, he makes video games. Pretty cool in my opinion. <br/>"Yeah I'll go out later, I wanna play some Animal Crossing first"</p><p>The day seeped by me slowly, immersed in my own game I didn't realise I had spent longer playing than I had wanted to. Gosh damn Nintendo and their great games! I flopped back into my bed, turning the switch off and docking it on my bedside table. <br/>I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed, I was tired. But I knew I couldn't sleep. I keep dreaming of these masks, they're so creepy I always wake up screaming. That's probably why I gotta write that dumb journal. They think I've lost it, how unfortunate. </p><p>The warm summer breeze filled my room, my open window gave me the prettiest view of the forest by my house; I live out in the countryside, my mother sells our chickens eggs and our bees honey to locals, it's really homely and cute. I can't wait to do that too, Id love to one day live in a small little cabin in the woods and sell my chickens eggs. </p><p>Ah what a peaceful life that would be.</p><p>I awoke sharply to a loud bang, I hadn't realised I had fallen asleep. It was dark outside and the breeze was cold. I shivered, gripping my arms for warmth I pulled a hoodie from the floor and pulled it over myself, slipping on my slippers I walked out of my room and down stairs. I was greeted to a few strangers with my parents, they smiled up at me as I stood on the landing. <br/>"Oh this is my daughter, Angel. Sweetheart come down here and meet our new neighbours!"<br/>So I did, I walked down the stairs and greeted them. I took in their features, <br/>Three tall men, one was shorter. He had full, brown hair, brown eyes and a patch on his cheek. One, the tallest, also had brown hair and brown eyes, but he looked less tired than the others. And the last one had his hood up so I couldn't get much of his features, from what I gathered he looked much like the other two. <br/>"Heya, I'm Toby. This is Tim and that's Brain, he doesn't chat too much"<br/>The man's voice was empty and devoid of any emotion, it was unsettling, I didn't like it. <br/>But I smiled<br/>"Ah I'm Angelique, nice to meet you all" <br/>I was starting to feel incredibly anxious, and usually with my high anxiety I would have a tic, for people my age my doctor said it was normal, and that they'd go away. That focusing on them would make them worse. And thinking about it did, of course.<br/>Jerking my head back and to the side I quickly looked down, I hated when that happened. <br/>"Ah! I do that too so don't be embarrassed"</p><p>The Toby man spoke again, I looked up to him and smiled, fidgeting with my fingers.</p><p>"Ah I'm sorry, it's a stress tic. Doctor said they'll go away soon"</p><p>"Ahh okay, I've got pretty bad tourettes so I tic like a broken machine"</p><p>He laughed gently, however convincing it may have seemed, I just knew they're wasn't something right about him. Or any of them.<br/>It wasn't Toby's tics, Tim's eyes watching the house and behind his shoulders or Brians staring and lack of speaking. <br/>They just didn't feel right, and that Toby guy. I'm nearly certain I've seen him before, dressed totally different though. Out in the woods, the day my sister was found. <br/>There was a search party for her so maybe he was a part of it? <br/>"Uhm, when did you all move in?"<br/>I ask hoping he would say a few months ago. <br/>My face dropped when he answered<br/>"Last month, on the 10th"</p><p>The day my sister was found dead.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Evacuate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The neighbours were nice, I suppose. As nice as they could be despite being so off-putting. <br/>The Toby guy was kinda cute though, even though he looked twice my age. And very raggedy. I do kinda throw myself at any guy I see anyways so no surprise I like him, well no I don't like him, he's just interesting. <br/>I don't remember them moving in though, they didn't seem to like each other very much. </p><p>I wanted to write more, but all I could think of was the new neighbors. I swear I've seen them before? although the more I think of it the more rediculous it is. they have recognizable faces, as if I'd have met three guys double my age before. <br/>I had a huge anxiety attack after they left though, them moving in the day my sister's dismembered body was found in bits and pieces of course hit me the wrong way. I've become a bit paranoid since her death, as anyone would. but of course I calmed down and thought rationally, it's hard to remind yourself of the truth sometimes when all you want to believe solves all your worries happens to be a lie. <br/>I'm not a judgemental person, so I had to get over myself. there was nothing wrong with these guys I was just loosing it. probably. </p><p>"Angel you're still awake?"<br/>my mother spoke sharply, making me jump in my chair. I didnt hear her come in. <br/>"oh- yeah i was thinking"<br/>"go to sleep. now, please"<br/>I sighed and got out of my chair to hug my mother goodnight<br/>"goodnight, I love you"<br/>"love you too, mom"</p><p>I climbed into bed and lay on my back, sighing deeply. <br/>I looked over to the other empty bed in my room, my sister's old bed. emotions overrun me as I cling onto my sheets. I had been sleeping in her bed until now, but I needed to separate. she wouldn't want me to be sleeping in her bed. <br/>I tried to regain my composure but i just couldn't, after maybe an hour i caved in and cried as much I needed to. </p><p>I woke up with a jump, a loud shrill scream echoed through my house followed but a hoarse voice yelling <br/>"shut up!"<br/>banging followed, it was coming from downstairs? my heart was pounding and adrenaline pumped through me so quickly I was sweating. I was terrified to move, gripping my bedsheets. <br/>despite knowing my mother and father were downstairs screaming and screaming I couldn't move. I could hear my dad beg and sob, and my mother shrill in pain. <br/>I was shaking, my head was throbbing, my heartbeat was so loud I couldn't hear my own thoughts. the banging, the sound of impact and then sudden silence threw me into fight or flight. I threw myself into my wardrobe, not sure where else to hide. and cursing myself after for not throwing myself out my window. </p><p>I held my breath, trying to listen. listening for anything, for footsteps, for voices. nothing. <br/>suddenly the wardrobe door was pulled open with force, it nearly came off the hinges. I screamed.<br/>waiting for impact or anything, screaming as loud as I could in hopes to scare away the Intruder. </p><p>after a few minutes of nothing happening I looked up and threw my self further back into the closet. it was the new neighbour. he was looking down at me through these glasses, his face covered with a black muzzle. <br/>"wanna know something fun?"<br/>he spoke gently, it was empty yet he talked like he was about to tell a joke. his eyes glistened. I shook my head no, not wanting to hear. <br/>"I had a sister too, she died. car crash"<br/>I could tell he was smiling through the muzzle as he spoke. I continued to look up at him, frozen in fear. the darkness of my room framing him around the entrance of my wardrobe. <br/>"your sisters dead too, and now your family. like mine, what a coincidence"<br/>he kneeled down Infront of me, smiling. <br/>"what's wrong with you?"<br/>I whisper shakily. the only thing I could muster up to say to him. his face dropped. <br/>"do you want me to fucking list my issues or what? I killed your family there's obviously something wrong with me. what are you? fucking retarded?" <br/>he snapped at me, his head snapping towards the door when two other figures showed up. <br/>"what are you doing?"<br/>"none of your business, puppets"<br/>"don't leave her here"<br/>"I'm not on your team, remeber that timmy boy. go home and suck up to that thing" <br/>"stupid fucking spazz take her or kill her"<br/>"ah well you know I might just take her, just to piss. you. off"</p><p>I watched as the two of the bickered. and as toby stood to argue some more I took the opportunity and bolted. I ran past them and three myself down the stairs. going for the front door it was locked. fuck. <br/>before I could boot for the back door I was forcefully yanked back by my hair. landing hard of the floor I gasped. the air being knocked from me with a hard ringing in my ears. <br/>"daisy, daisy, give me your answer do"<br/>I started crying hysterically as I wad dragged by my hair across the floor by my hair, toby singing as he did so. <br/>"let me go!"<br/>I screamed and kicked and scratched him but he didn't budge. <br/>"I'm half crazy-"<br/>he picked me up by my throat to be face to face to him, his brown eyes were wide and empty. pupil dilated small. the whites of his eyes were bloodshot. <br/>"finish the lyric, angel"<br/>he smiled at me through the muzzle. gripping my throat hard I gasped out the remainder of the line<br/>"ah I didn't hear you, my sister's favourite song, do it justice"<br/>he cocked his head to me<br/>I gasped harder again and squeaked out <br/>"falling in love with you"<br/>before he forcefully threw me into the ground. finally getting some air I gasped and coughed as my lungs burned and head thumped and spun. <br/>I stood up as quickly as I could, leaning on the couch I drove my foot into his groin. <br/>I went to run again but he grabbed be by the back of the throat and pulled me close. <br/>"good job there buttercup"<br/>he laughed into my ear, I started crying hysterically again, screaming and wriggling trying desperately to get out of his grip. <br/>"shut up!"<br/>I continued to scream and scream. <br/>suddenly his fist connected with the side of my head and everything went black. </p><p>I woke up suddenly, the smell of wet wood and mud was the first thing I noticed. I opened my eyes as i sat up from a hardwood floor. i looked around me and took in my surroundings. I was inside a cabin, a pretty small one. I could tell I was maybe in the living area, I was on the floor by a couch and unlit fireplace. a small fridge, microwave, coffee maker and television sat on a large TV stand. there were two doors to the front of me. it was cold, I held my self close the fireplace hoping for warmth but instead I was greeted with freezing cold marble. I jumped up away from it, my legs numb and shaky. <br/>suddenly the door opened, it was toby. <br/>he didn't have a muzzle on or goggles or layers and layers of clothes like the cold would suggest. <br/>his hair was messy and he was wearing a hoodie and shorts. no shoes. <br/>there were bandages all over his arms, gloves on his hands. his face was slightly shocking, a huge scab on the side of his face. a few scars going across his face. <br/>"you're awake early"<br/>he spoke sharply. <br/>"why am I here"<br/>"I don't know"<br/>he laughed as he spoke, shaking his head as he buried his head into the mini fridge. pulling out a large redbull <br/>"oh are you hungry? uh shit I always forget to buy actual food"<br/>he seemed cheerful as he sat himself on the couch near me. <br/>I stood there awkwardly. <br/>"what's up with you? you're standing like a statue"<br/>"i- it's cold, cant you feel it?"<br/>he clicked his tongue as he drank from the can, <br/>"do I look like I feel the cold?" <br/>I shook my head and stepped away, <br/>"nah I'm kidding it's pretty cold, if you wanna warm up go into my room back there"<br/>he pointed his thumb back to the first door in the corner. the other one must be a bathroom, or at least I hope. <br/>"ah fuck"<br/>he cursed hard, the redbull was split all over his hoodie. why did he do that he stood up and laughed <br/>"well looks like we're both going to my room, aye?"<br/>he elbowed be playfully as he wanted off past me and into the room, I stood there dumbfounded. but alas I followed him in. it was as empty as the other rooms but much warmer, then I noticed the back boiler in the corner. it was lit. <br/>suddenly a large piece of material was thrown at me, I struggled to catch it <br/>"you're gonna freeze, it's sticky with redbull but you'll survive. I've got a friend coming over and he's a bit feral so don't wander when he's here. I didn't take you here just to have you die on the first day" <br/>he laughed as he looked back to me, his back was littered with deep and shallow scars, an open one was bleeding. <br/>"ah!"<br/>I put my arm out to stop him from pulling the light grey hoodie over his back <br/>"what? I'm hardly going to walk around shirtless now am I?"<br/>he snapped at me, I stuttered, and spazzed <br/>"ah no, you're- uh you're bleeding- you'll ruin the hoodie"<br/>his face changed instantly <br/>"oh shit, grab me the uh, fuckin- the med kid from the drawer over there"<br/>he struggled to speak through a series of hard head jerks and shakes, I stumbled back towards the beside table and opened the drawer. there was a medical kit, alot of candles and a whole lot of medications and bandages. I grabbed the med kit and brought it over to him<br/>"right so, I can't reach so just slap a plaster onto it"<br/>he spoke funny. <br/>"oh- uh okay"<br/>"yeah if you don't I'll smash your head in"<br/>he smiled back at me from over his shoulder, his brown eyes deep with nothing. I hesitantly took the plasters from his hand and opened them up, I gently wiped the blood away with my hand before I put the few plasters on to cover the large cut. <br/>I stood back away from him and fiddled with my fingers, looking down. I didn't feel in danger but I definitely didn't feel safe. </p><p>a loud banging made me jump, and made Toby jump too. yanking his hoodie down he cursed and walked out of the room, not before turning to me<br/>"don't act stupid with this guy, he's got a freaky face, and talks worse. stick close and you'll be fine" <br/>he left the room with a laughed <br/>"I think anyways"</p><p>I sheepishly followed him out of the room, the large hoodie he was once wearing sitting me well. we weren't too far apart in height so I suppose it fits. my pulled at my pajama shorts, suddenly feeling very exposed. I watched from a distance as Toby opened the door to a guy, he was 5'11 I'd say, not too much taller than Toby and I. I couldn't see his face but he had black hair, and was wearing comfortable clothes and big jacket. I was jealous. <br/>the two walked in and the other guy shivered and turned to Toby <br/>"dude what the fuck? I know you're a freak but don't you ever keep this place warm?"<br/>"alot of effort for something that doesn't bother me"<br/>the guy looked over to me, his face was terrifying. <br/>he had one of those Glasgow smiles, it was pretty big. it was scabbing in places and scarred in others. it looked like he picked at it with his fingers. he had green eyes which were actually rather nice. his eyelids were weird, I think they were synthetic. <br/>"oh ho who do we have here? you didn't tell me you had company Toby" <br/>he had a southern accent. it didn't sit on him very well. <br/>"oh yeah, swiped her from a neighbour a bit off"<br/>"why are you so far away angel come here"<br/>I recoiled, feeling strange he knew my name, having go remind myself it was just a catcall. I didn't want to move, but I walked over, stopping near but a distance away from toby I didn't trust either of them. <br/>"oh fuck you're tall"<br/>he laughed looking at me, I kept my eyes away from him. afraid I'd get sick if I had to look at those disgusting scabs for another minute. <br/>"you're going to freeze her you know"<br/>toby looked back at me and pulled at the hoodie <br/>"no look, I gave her one"<br/>the guy laughed hoarsely <br/>"you stupid bastard she's in shorts in the shit middle of winter. she'll get frostbite, which hurts like a cunt so get her something if you want her around for longer than a few days"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Pleasant Surprise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I felt a cold hand on my back, I froze up on the spot. Toby and the other guy were talking on the couch and I was up near the doors to the two rooms. I had just finished up in the bathroom. I stood frozen, afraid to move. A horrible wave of coldness overcame me and I began to shiver worse than before from the cold. <br/>Toby turned to probably see what I was doing and jumped up over the couch, tripping as he did so<br/>"Ben you stupid bastard"<br/>Toby smiled pushing me away into the wall with a thud and pulling the person behind me into a tight hug. I held my self tightly, frozen to the core. I tried to get a good look at the guy called Ben but he was currently being suffocated in Toby's chest. He was tiny. <br/>He had blond hair, long and tied back in a pony tail. He had pointed ears too- <br/>The guy I learned was Jeff put his jacket around me and zipped it up, warmth instantly encasing my body as the warm furry material covered my once bare neck and thighs<br/>"Ben cant help it, he's not fully there either. I'm the only sane one here believe it or not"<br/>I smiled at him, shrinking into the warm soft inside of the jacket. It was large on me, it had to have been large on Jeff too.<br/>"Thank you"<br/>"Aha you do speak"<br/>He laughed, walking back towards the couch<br/>I rubbed my hands together as I watched Toby and Ben smile and chat to each other. Toby turning to me and gasping as he laughed to and from Ben and Jeff <br/>"Oh shit yeah, ok come here"<br/>He grabbed my arm tightly and pulled me towards the fireplace. Pushing me down hard to sit on the carpet. I winced as he did so. He payed no mind to my silent protests. <br/>"Don't hold it against him, he can't help it. Stupid rat drowned in a bathtub"<br/>Toby spoke as he stuck his head into the fireplace, clearing a space for newspapers and logs that Jeff was handing him to light. A smile plastered on his face, splitting the scab on his cheek. Blood dripping into the fireplace, he ignored it. <br/>I looked up to Jeff hoping he would say that Toby was lying but instead he was laughing as he was handing Toby logs of wood. Toby lit the fireplace, but of course not before throwing a lit match at me, watching me panic and yelp as I kicked it off and patted myself off. All three of them laughing as I panicked. <br/>The warmth of the fire overtook me quickly as I sat as close as I could. Shoving myself up onto the cold marble surrounding the fireplace. <br/>From here I could finally get a good look at Ben as the three of them sat on the couch chatting and laughing. He was pretty spooky looking, arguably worse than Jeff. <br/>I could tell he was based off young Link, the face shape, height, hair colour and ears told me all that quickly. His eye whites were black and his corneas were red and every now and then he would wipe away a red tear drop that seemed to be constant. Maybe it was blood, but I didn't really want to know if it was or not. The stains on his face seemed to lean towards it being blood. <br/>Also a very gross thing that would happen often was he would cough and gurgle it was so scary he sounded like he was drowning it made me jump each time he would spit up water onto the hardwood floors. He dressed pretty trendy though. <br/>"You stare alot"<br/>Ben laughed, his laugh echoed weirdly around my head. I looked around nervously, my neck was sore from the horribly amount of tics I had in the past few hours; and of course the nerve of being watched set off an involuntary tic.  Looking down to my bare feet I stayed silent as his eyes bore into me<br/>"Oh shit she's got the same defect as you Toby" <br/>Ben laughed pointing to toby, who laughed in response. Slapping Ben's back making him cough up a shit ton of water into the carpet in front of me making me jump up off the floor and look at him in panic<br/>"I'm fine"<br/>He laughed with a smile, wiping the water from his mouth<br/>"As fine as you could be dead"<br/>Jeff retorted, leaning back into the couch as he chewed on a stick from an icepop<br/>My brain started to hurt. I grabbed my head and groaned, slowly sitting on the floor in a corner, far away from them. Trying my best to remain calm and try to take everything in. <br/>I didn't want to panic or cause trouble, if I stayed complicit I'd probably be let go at some point. My calmness had already rewarded me with some sort of warmth I guess. Even though I was starving and dehydrated. <br/>I suddenly realised I didn't have my medication, and that was probably why my brain was hurting. <br/>Cursing as I silently cried in the corner with my head in my hands as I listened to the three talk like normal people about normal things like the fucking weather. Or what's in the news. Or what Toby was going to make for dinner. </p><p>I recoiled upon feeling a cold hand in my hair, it was Ben. Looking up to him I didn't know what to say or do. <br/>He kneeled down beside me, looking at me weirdly. But I suppose hed look strange to me no matter what he did.<br/>"You're here because our good pal Toby took an attachment to you. He won't let you die, but he will hurt you. Sometimes on accident and sometimes not. He's not stable, so don't get spooked when he hits you"<br/>He spoke gently but his voice echoed and stalled every now and then, it was weird but I couldn't help but listen. <br/>I looked down to my feet again, they were red from the cold. I held them in my hands as I sighed. <br/>Ben sighed and stood up, shaking his hands out as they went blue. <br/>"ah well, Toby doesn't care where he sleeps so you get the pick of the litter" <br/>He looked down at me, I rubbed my feet gently trying to get the circulation going back into them. I weakly forced a smile up at Ben. <br/>He sighed, looking into Toby's room he motioned to it with his thumb<br/>"Why don't you go in there and warm up, we're gonna be out here a while. It's warm in there cause' of the back boiler. Take a nap, you need it"<br/>He patted my back gently as he walked me into Toby's room and unzipped the jacket off me. Sighing seeing that I was just in a hoodie and shorts. No socks or anything warm. <br/>He rubbed my arms in an attempt to warm me up before patting the mattress to make sure it was soft and not a "piece of shit rock". <br/>I was hesitant to lay in it, afraid Toby would get mad at me for sleeping in his bed. I wanted to, but I was too afraid<br/>"I'm too nervous"<br/>I spoke up before Ben left, he turned to me<br/>"About what?"<br/>"Incase Toby doesn't like me in here"<br/>His face softened as he listened to me, he sighed again and ran a hand through his hair<br/>"I would stay here with you but I'm very cold, no blood flow. If you'd like I can ask Jeff to come in? he's pretty warm"<br/>I was hesitant, he was way older than me and seemed pretty fed up with my bullshit. <br/>Just as he was mentioned Jeff and Toby peeked their heads around the door frame to see the holdup of their dear dead rat. <br/>"What's going on?"<br/>Toby asked, his voice monotone and flat, as usual<br/>"She needs to warm up. But she's too nervous to sleep alone"<br/>Ben spoke gently, Jeff laughed <br/>"well can you blame her? I sure can't that's for sure"<br/>He smiled at me, I smiled back weakly. I was very tired, I was very hungry, I was very everything. <br/>"Maybe we should end this early, me and Angelique can share the bed until she gets used to it. Sound good angel?"<br/>Toby called out to me, I wasn't listening.<br/>Everything had begun to go fuzzy as my vision pulsed through darkness and being too bright. I perked up and looked at him through foggy eyes as I gently swayed, close to passing out from possibly hunger, thirst, the cold or exhaustion. <br/>"Grab her-"<br/>Ben exclaimed just as my legs gave out from under me, he somehow managed to get behind me and catch me by my arms as I fell. He pulled me into the bed and covered me with all the blankets all three of them could find.<br/>"What do I do? What if she dies?"<br/>Toby almost wailed as he put more wood into the back boiler beside the bed, the room warming up nicely. I still couldn't feel my feet. <br/>"I don't know! I've been dead a while"<br/>Ben yelled back<br/>Jeff piped up<br/>"keep her warm, her toes, fingers and face are important the blood runs through there the most or something like that. So if you've got socks put them on her. Make sure you check up on her, make her something hot to eat"<br/>He spoke off the top of his head, I could barely understand what they were saying as I was falling in and out of consciousness</p><p>Before I completely gave in I remember the feeling of being held tightly. It was comforting. It reminds me of my sister</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Trauma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up to a loud bang, followed by screaming from two voices. <br/>My head was spinning as I sat upright in the warm and heavy bedsheets. I looked out the window to my left and saw snow, and bars. The windows were barred. <br/>Great. </p><p>I stood up slowly from the bed, taking my time. I still felt really Ill and I had no idea how long I had been sleeping. My feet made contact with the cold tiled floor, sending a cold chill through my entire body. Slowly making my way to the door I opened it sheepishly. Nervous as to what was on the other side making so much noise. </p><p>Peeking through the door as I opened it I was shocked and frozen in horror as to what I was seeing. <br/>Toby was digging a hand axe into the face of a girl. She looked to be in her 20s. She screamed loudly, it ringing out in my ear. Then suddenly she stopped and fell limp.<br/>Her head stuck to the axe. Blood spraying over Toby's face and all over his clothes and floor. Her face split in half when he pulled the axe away with her brain spilling everywhere like wet spaghetti. <br/>He looked to me quickly, his face empty and pale. <br/>"Morning, I got food. The fridge is just by me, go get some"<br/>He spoke through a face muzzle, similar to the one he wore on the day he kidnapped me. <br/>His whole image gave me flashbacks, seeing him dig an axe into my fathers dead corpse as I tried to flee, the blood covering him as I hid in my wardrobe, the screams of my mother as she died. <br/>It was all too much, I started to scream. I screamed and I screamed, grabbing my head and pulling my hair out in strands and clumps as slid down the door frame. My head buried In between my knees as I screamed and pushed my self into the corner. </p><p>I have no idea how much time passed before I slowly came back to the world of the living. It was darker in the day so it had to have been around 3pm. I had stopped screaming a long time ago, mostly due to loosing my voice completely. Toby was agitated and angry at me for screaming, he was on the couch doing something, I didn't care to notice. <br/>I was stuck in place, the girls dead body a few feet from me. Her split skull staring at me. </p><p>The cabin door opened with a bang, and Jeff walked in and dropped whatever he had been holding. </p><p>"I know you're not all there toby but Jesus Christ"</p><p>"What? Oh her? The dead one or the alive one?"</p><p>Jeff looked to me with what I assumed was a look of sympathy. He wasn't as bad as he looked. <br/>He grabbed the girl by her legs and dragged her into Toby's room, blood and brain following and slipping onto the floor as she was dragged away out of my sight. </p><p>"I told you she was sick and you've gone and traumatised her again"</p><p>"She's fine, she was screaming for so long I don't know how I didn't split her skull"</p><p>"Don't laugh at that, Jesus"</p><p>"It's funny"</p><p>"You took her here and you decided to take care of her, she's not a pet dude. I know for a fact you'd treat a fucking cat better so grow up. You're nearly fucking 25"</p><p>"She's fine"</p><p>"Coming from a sociopath that means absolutely nothing"</p><p>I listened to them converse between each other, Jeff had moved from the small fridge to me, handing me bottle of water and a prepacked sandwich, it had cheese and butter he had picked it so I wouldn't be reminded of brains I'm assuming. <br/>I drank the water hastily, I had been severely dehydrated at this point, this was the first time tasting water that I can remember, although my mental state is decaying without my medication. <br/>I muttered a hoarse thank you to Jeff, he smiled down at me and gently patted my head. <br/>He smiled with his eyes, you couldn't tell if you couldn't see them. </p><p>I didn't eat the sandwich, I couldn't bare to eat anything. Jeff held a hand out to me to take and I did, he lifted me gently and led me in front of the lit fireplace onto the couch. </p><p>"Has your fever gone down at all?"</p><p>"Yeah she was down to 43° today, I checked earlier when I woke up"</p><p>Toby replied for me, I had been feeling better when I woke up, the range by the bed had been lit all night and Toby slept on the chair in the corner to watch me for the few times I puked. At least I think he slept in the chair. <br/>He put a hand on my shoulder and leaned over to look at me, <br/>my eyes glanced to his brown ones. </p><p>"I'm sorry for splitting her open in front of you, I forgot you're normal. I'll be more careful from now on"</p><p>I weakly forced a smile to him in response. I appricated the apology yet I was still shaken up from it. I've seen dead people before yet something about seeing someone die is worse. Seeing her life completely drain from her eyes and her skull crack open like an egg with it's contents spilling out just, messed with me. Like it would with anyone. </p><p>Bar Toby I suppose.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Embrace</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up gently to the sound of the range beside me crackling, the wood inside it slowly burning and giving the small cabin all the warmth it had to provide. I rubbed my eyes whilst my vision adjusted to the dark morning as I sat upright in the bed. The heavy and warm blankets embraced me sweetly, inviting me to sleep for another hour or so. Turning to my left I see Toby asleep beside me, it's far too cold at night to sleep anywhere else but in here so I don't blame him. <br/>The sight still shocked me, this man who had kidnapped me sleeps next to me each night, ungaurded. <br/>I could kill him right here right now and escape, but he knows I won't. Because I don't know where I am, I'll end up dying out there from hypothermia or by the hands of his friends for killing him. <br/>His pale skin was littered all over with scars and nicks, infected cuts and strange rashes. His fingers were all scarred and bloody, he picked at them often I started to notice the other day that he wore the gloves to stop himself. I've seen him tear a whole layer of skin off his finger and not even bat an eyelash at it. Instead he picked it off and chased me with it saying;<br/>"Look Angel, it's my skin here, here! come look"</p><p>He was very childish at heart, but he was so much more brutal that I often forgot. He always had this vacant and empty look to his deep brown eyes, I had started to become accustomed to it. Albeit waking up to those eyes looking at you is one of the most terrifying things I've seen, wide, dilated, and empty as he would stare down at me. <br/>Everyday felt like a nightmare, and today would be no different. <br/>Despite his sweet sleeping figure as he gripped at sheets next to me, this man kidnapped me, and was a serial killer. I couldn't trust him but for whatever reason I was starting to. </p><p>As I looked down on Toby while he slept he started to stirr, I took this as a sign to start moving. I didn't like being in bed when he was awake. I didn't want him knowing I would spend time just looking at him, almost admiring him. </p><p>I sat out onto the side of the bed and dropped my feet onto the cold tiled floor, a shiver sending up my spine as I did so. I stood up from the bed and kneeled next to the range, opening the door with a low rumble and creak as I checked if it needed anymore kindling, it did. Gently lifting logs from the blue bucket by the range I quietly lay them into the range, the fire kissing my fingers as I did so. <br/>I closed the range with a low clang as I stood upright from the cold floor. </p><p>"I was wondering who was keeping that going"</p><p>Toby's harsh morning voice startled me, jumping slightly I turn to him quickly, a hand on my chest. My heart thumping hard. <br/>I sighed out, dropping my hands to my side with a weak smile</p><p>"Oh you scared me-"</p><p>He chuckled, his face was tired and his hair was messy, flinging everywhere as he rolled over to get up off the bed. I quickly pull the previously stained with Redbull hoodie on as I scurried out of the room. He didn't like being looked at, he hadn't told me to leave but I started to notice he'd get ready after I've left. So I took it upon myself to give him privacy. </p><p>Him and I never spoke outside of company from Jeff or any other of Toby's friends. I had to observe to understand what he wanted, and he did the same for me. He started locking me into the bedroom when he had someone over, so I wouldn't walk in on another murder scene. I appreciated the gesture although it did scare me at first to be locked in.  </p><p>Stepping into the cold living space I closed the bedroom door behind me, the soft click wishing me a good morning. The dark morning didn't grant me any sight as I slapped my hand blindly against the wall in search for the light switch, flicking the switch and being flooded with light as the soft white bulbs above me turned on. The empty and emotionless living area lit up, the cold fireplace cried out to be lit and the cluttered corner kitchenette wailed in dirt. <br/>I sighed and got to work pulling boxes and empty cartons off the stove and counter tops, dropping them into eachother. <br/>The dust rising and falling onto my hair and hands, making me sneeze. A muffled "bless you" would emit from the bedroom each time I did so.  <br/>Managing to fit all the empty cartons and recycling into one large box I sighed as I rummaged through the under sink cupboard for any cleaning spray, finding bleach I patted the yellow bottle. This'll have to do. </p><p>Pouring the thick and foul chemical onto the marble countertops I worked it into the grimy counters with a sponge. Rinsing the sponge regularly. Once I was done with the countertops I worked on the sink basin and taps, then the cupboards doors and internal, then the microwave and minifridge that both sat by the fireplace. <br/>Taking great effort in moving them to the kitchenette from the fireplace, my bones failing me often causing me drop the fridge once or twice on my cold toes. </p><p>I groaned as I slid myself down the side of the fireplace, the sun had started to rise and the warm rays peeked their way through the windows, the frost cutting the rays in sections as they danced across the hardwood floors. I turned into the fireplace as I pulled at kindling and dropped them into the hearth, I was very sore at this point and simply wanted to get it done. It was nice to have something to do as when Toby is around its best to do nothing at all. Less he gets angry and throws me again. </p><p>I pushed the kindling hard into the fireplace. Fumbling newspaper and firelighters under and over the wood, taking a lighter and setting the paper alight. I sat back on the stained rug as I watched the fire slowly take breath and fill up the fireplace with a gentle warmth. Welcoming me with a peaceful good morning, thanking me for my efforts. </p><p>I pulled myself up into the couch and relaxed into the material. I inspected the cushions with my nails, mentally noting that they needed a wash. <br/>The sound of the bedroom door opening and slamming hard made me jump and turn around quickly, Toby looked around and then to me, he pointed to the kitchenette<br/>"You cleaned my kitchen?"</p><p>I got nervous, biting my lip I looked back to him as I moved to face him over the couch<br/>"yeah, I uh, I had nothing else to do I'm sorry I shouldn't have touched anything with-"</p><p>He put his hands up as he chuckled <br/>"Whoa no I'm not mad or anything, I never find motivation to clean up around here. Thanks Angel, I appreciate it"</p><p>He flashed me a grin, his teeth peeking through the open scab on the side of his face. He was dressed simply today, this usually meant he was staying here today. <br/>In a plain black hoodie and sweatpants he looked comfortable, and warm. I moved to sit forward on the couch, pulling my legs up under the hoodie in an attempt to keep warm.<br/>Toby dropped himself hard onto the couch next to me, rummaging for the remote to the television that sat above the mantle. After finding it he smiled to me once again, asking if I wanted to watch anything in particular. I shook my head no. </p><p>"Oh yeah, Jeff is coming over he's got some stuff for you, he should be here any minute now"<br/>He looked to me, I looked back and flashed a weak smile. Just as Toby stopped talking the door swung open hard and Jeff came in, a huge bag in hand. He looked bitter. </p><p>I smiled brightly and waved to him from the couch, Toby glaring at me from the couch. </p><p>"Hey Angel"</p><p>Jeff waved back, coming over to the couch after closing the door and leaving the bag down by the door, he leaned over the couch between me and Toby and whispered into his ear before turning to me and ruffling my hair about. <br/>I smiled up to him, I enjoyed Jeff, he was very welcoming and understanding to me. He didn't seem like the kind of person you'd feel safe with but I definitely did. </p><p>I felt Toby drop a hand onto my leg, it made me jump as I looked to him worriedly, he looked back to me with the same expression and took his hand away. Had I offended him somehow?</p><p>"Oh give her the bag"</p><p>He said to Jeff with an empty voice, leaning over the side of the couch to motion towards the bag by the front door. Jeff replied in a positive way and moved to snatch it and drop it onto my lap. I smiled at it, it was exciting to get anything in this house. Even the warmth of the bed at night brough me enough joy to last till morning. </p><p>I peeked through it and was shocked at what I saw. In it there was about five different packs of underwear, a bunch of socks, three pairs of sweatpants, three hoodies, two sweatshirts, a pair of running Nike shoes, a packet of hair ties, a hair brush, a toothbrush, sanitary pads and tampons, a bra, a sports bra, slippers, and a dressing gown. </p><p>I looked up to Jeff and Toby after rummaging through the bag, I suppose I looked as shocked as I felt because Toby looked to me then to Jeff then back to me</p><p>"What? Do you, uh, not your style?"</p><p>"Hey don't blame me I didn't get this stuff"</p><p>I smiled weakly, very happy with having clothes and not being stuck in the memory wrenching pajamas I'd been in for over a week.</p><p>"Thank you"</p><p>Jeff and Toby let out a sigh of relief. Toby slouching into the couch and chuckling as he looked back to Jeff who was standing behind the couch </p><p>"Who did you pay to get that stuff?"</p><p>"Had to get in touch with a fan"</p><p>Toby threw his head back and let out a cackle of a laugh, his hair falling back off his forehead, <br/>smiling he looked back to Jeff</p><p>"Who? Nina? dude I really owe you one with this ah?"</p><p>He continued to laugh, and I continued to listen. Gripping the paper bag tightly in my hands. For the first time since my sister's death I felt comfortable. <br/>I felt comfortable and wanted in the home of the man who kidnapped me. </p><p>I felt appricated and loved in the home of the man who kidnapped me.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. comfort</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I smiled down giddily at the bag in my grasp, still sitting on the stained dark grey sofa by the roaring fireplace. <br/>Toby and Jeff were laughing back and forth between harsh stutters and tics from Toby, most of which Jeff laughed at. <br/>I was excited to shower, I hadn't even though of it since I came here. Being stuck in the same clothes for a week made me forget about personal hygiene. My mind trailed to how Jeff got these for me, and what 'fan' he was talking about. Jeff has fans? <br/>I mean I've heard of serial killer cults and true crime obsessives but fans? That's so new to me I couldn't even begin to comprehend it, waiting patiently for Jeff and Toby to finish their conversation until I interjected. <br/>It wasn't manners keeping me from interrupting but fear. Toby terrified me despite his soft attitude towards me as of late. Everytime he came near me I would fall into such panic he started to not approach me anymore at all. The sound of his heavy footsteps from places I couldn't see sent my hairs on end, fight or flight kicking in. <br/>Toby terrifies me and he knows it, my sweet actions of cleaning and staying complicit was for my own safety, I don't want to know what he'll do to me if I disobey. I don't want to know what he'll do to me if I make too much noise or if I try to leave. He already has a friend of his watching the cabin all hours of the day and night. <br/>when I can't sleep I often sit by the window and watch him back, I wave but he's only waved back once. </p><p>Once their conversation started to die down I folded everything back neatly in the bag, the brown paper crinkling loudly under my skin. <br/>I looked up to Toby, Jeff had made his way to the small kitchenette, taking notice in how clean it was compared to the last time he had seen it. </p><p>"Uhm, how did you know my size?"</p><p>I didn't really care about that, it's easy to guess since me and Toby are around the same height. Only difference is he is more muscular than me. I just wanted to start the conversation </p><p>"A friend"</p><p>Jeff replied from the kitchenette turning to me, his soft voice didn't match him at all. Jeff was a very soft spoken person, when I first met him his voice was harsh and he would bark in laughter, however it seems that he may of been sick as his true voice is very welcoming. However he does bark in laughter, I find it very appealing. His eyes glanced me up and down from my position on the couch, pale blue swallowed wholly by his pupils, which were almost always dilated. <br/>His skin was softly tanned on his arms and hands, in odd spots on his neck also. the rest was pale and leathery, some areas scared deep red, in particular his scalp and collarbones. The jagged smile he had self inflicted was surprisingly well taken care of, I never saw sign of infection. However it was scarred in fraying lines, indicating that he must reopen it often once it scars. What a waste of his body's hard work. <br/>Jeff was a decent hight, he stood tall at 5"11 or 6", he was a bit taller than me but not enough to warrant me having to tilt my head to look at him. His wide shoulders complimented his narrow hips gorgeously, he was well built albeit hard to tell as he was always wrapped up in layers. But from what I could tell he was strong, and throwing me across a football field would be absolutely no effort to him. And I don't doubt he'd do it either, Jeff is clearly unstable despite his sweet words of claiming sanity. <br/>Despite Jeff's grotesque appearance he's very attractive with amazing bone structure that no doubt got him a lot of green eyes for it before he had his accident. </p><p>I smiled nervously, chuckling lightly with a breathy sigh. Needing to remind myself that these men are not my friends, and that they're hidden in these woods for a reason. I've been kidnapped and these small tokens of affection are not that at all, it's keeping me alive and comfortable so I don't run out that door into the frozen subzero woods to die. <br/>That Toby is doing what he has to, keeping me silent and obedient like a quiet wife. His power keeps me obedient enough these sickening tokens of fake friendliness suddenly make me sick. The underwear being just my size making my stomach urk in fear, had I been stalked? Had they searched through my drawers back in my bedroom to figure it out? What friend figured it out? </p><p>I stood up wearily from the welcoming hold of the couch, the fire roaring heat onto my bare calves and my feet buried into the rug. I swallowed hard as I looked down to my fingernails. <br/>A gentle hum pulled me from my worried picking, I looked up to be met with deep brown eyes looking at me suspiciously. Toby. <br/>I gasped, jumping slightly. His gaze terrified me, and I'm sure it always will. </p><p>"I'll make some room in my closet for your stuff, I'm not sure what's in there so just- ah I guess leave the private stuff in the bag till I geh-get something for you"</p><p>He looked from me, his harsh voice speaking gently between hard tics and stutters, his hand gripping the back of his neck as he did so. Looking back to Jeff who threw a wave. I nodded in a silent thank you, he saw me. I know he did. <br/>I dragged my cold feet along the hardwood towards Toby's room, pushing the door open gingerly I placed the bag outside the closet door, kneeling down to rummage through it. Pulling out a pair of sweatpants, a hoodie, socks and fresh underwear. <br/>Standing upright I made my way back out of Toby's room, clothes rolled into a right ball in my arms as I closed the door behind me. I gave a weak white person smile to Jeff and Toby as I walked backwards into the bathroom. Shutting the door I eyed the lock, just as my hand reached out to turn it I heard a sharp bark from the other side of the door</p><p>"Jf you lock that door I'll kick it down on top of you"</p><p>It was Toby, his hard voice back to threaten me. I jumped as I let out a shrill yelp. Staring at the door with sweat dripping down my forehead, eyes wide. Expecting him to burst it open at any second. <br/>After a few moments the sound of laughter erupted from the other side, Jeff and Toby were preoccupied with themsleves. </p><p>Letting out a shaky sigh I turned to face the interior of the bathroom, the floors were a black tile and the walls a cream. Smoke stained and splattered with blood. I never paid much attention to in here when I had to use the toilet, I tried to keep my head down as much as possible. <br/>The sink was carved into a long Island, cupboards underneath it. The large mirror was dirty and also splattered with blood. A long sideways splatter had a horrible thought in my mind of Toby dragging someone in here just to make them watch as he slit their throats. It's something he would do without a doubt. </p><p>ii shuffled towards the shower, leaving my clothes on the closed lid of the toilet, I peeled open the fogged glass door. It was quite clean to my surprise, different kinds of bottles on the floor along with a knife. I picked it up by the handle, and dropped it onto the counter beside the sink. Not even wanting to inspect it. Not even wanting to think as to why it was in the shower. I looked down to the taps, pulling on the knob and then turning it to my victory it started to spew water at a hard pace. It was a power shower. I groaned in happiness to myself, my hand digging through my tangled hair, tearing it from the thin and wearing hair-tie. I turned to the mirror once I adjusted the heat to something I'd enjoy. My face was dull and tired, deep and heavy bags sat under my grey eyes. My hair was quickly fading from the pink I loved back to the red I despised. My neck was bruised from being thrown and dragged by it during Toby's episodes of rage. <br/>which was often. </p><p>I pulled Toby's hoodie up over my head, sighing as it came over my head. The t-shirt I had underneath caught me by surprise. I had forgotten I was wearing it. It was a pink with writing in bold white writing reading <br/>"She liked my comment! Pog champ"<br/>I had bought it online on a terrible retail site with a friend late at night one day. The sudden memory tore through me as I let out a choked sob. Tears spilling down my face as I slowly slid down the wall till I was sitting on the cold tile. My head between my knees as I cried our hard sobs between hard gasps for air. The shower drowning out my wails much to my dismay, I wanted Toby to hear me. To hear me wail out for those I've lost, to wail for what he's done to me and what he's taken. I pulled at my hair as thoughts infected my mind of my friends being bludgeoned like my parents, how what happened to me may happen to them. <br/>I had to quickly regain composure as I was acutely aware of how the back boiler heated the water and I didn't want to waste my only escape from my skin. </p><p>I pulled the t-shirt off with a sad effort, grunting in frustration at the fight my shorts put up. the silk had stuck to my thighs a few days ago. I whined gently as I looked at my bare body in the mirror, I was bruised all over, pale and devoured of any life. I was much skinnier than when I had came here, I didn't dare to eat unless I was offered. which wasn't often. <br/>I tore my eyes away from my figure to climb into the shower, closing the glass door behind me as I stood under the blasting heat. <br/>I let out a loud moan at the pressure and warmth splashing down my back and legs. Dropping my head as I let the water dampen my entire body, opening my eyes a while after to inspect the bottles on the floor. <br/>I picked one up, it was a shampoo and conditioner combo. I suppose Toby didn't care about how wrong it was to use a two in one. I sighed as I popped open the bottle, the opaque purple liquid dropping onto my palm with a plop. I rubbed it between my hands before I lathered it up in my fading hair. Massaging my scalp as I sighed and dropped my head back. Dragging the suds down the length of my hair as I turned and leaned my head back into the water. My fingers ringing the soap from my hair as the water cascaded down me. <br/>I opened my eyes once again and a rather flashy bottle caught my attention, I picked it up and inspected it. to my joy it was a body wash, a citrus one named 'gentle temptation'. The stupid name made me snort as I lathered up my entire body in the sharp and sweet smelling soap. Scrubbing with my nails and palms until my skin began to burn, I wasn't satisfied but the water was begining to warm so I rinsed myself off and turned the water off. <br/>Standing there for just a moment before I opened the glass door to dress and face them again. <br/>I sighed deeply, flicking my hair behind my shoulder with a wet slap as I stood outside the shower. Fog filled the room and hid my reflection from me in the mirror. </p><p>There was no towels so I sort of stood there awkwardly waiting for my body to dry slightly before pulling my underwear up, my sweatpants and hoodie on over my head. Pulling my hair out and onto the back of it. The red strands dampening the back of the hoodie. <br/>I turned to the door, my dirty clothes in my arms tightly as I sighed deeply. Nervous to open the door and start again. </p><p>I reached out and grabbed the doorknob, pulling the door open and stepping back into my reality.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I had lost motivation to speak a few days ago, although it wasnt my full wish to stop talking. It was Toby's. I had mentioned the man outside who watches the house, his face completely dropped and he began to yell at me, and at the window. I'm assuming at the man outside. His face frazzled and his eyes wide as he screamed. <br/>Screaming at me demanding I stop talking and keep my head down, to act like I've been kidnapped and not like I'm forced to be at a relatives house for Christmas. He said hes so goddamned tired of me acting like his fucking mother that he's in the right mind to tie me up and throw me into the basement  I didn't even know there was a basement. Although now that I think of it he might of been talking about the crawl space under his bedroom, I'm sure I've heard knocks from under the floorboards. It terrified me at first but like everything else happening around me I quickly accepted it and moved on, now taking comfort in the knocks and sometimes knocking back. </p><p>I was curled up tightly into myself on the sofa, pushed as far into the arm rest as I could be. Toby was on the other side, leaned back into the back cushions with one leg crossed over the other. His face was cold as usual, his good side facing me. He always sat that way. His hands sat on his lap, he wasnt wearing gloves. His pale and scarred fingers twitched as they picked at each other. Tearing at scabs and healed skin, blood staining his fingertips. I looked away when his hands stopped, he must've caught me looking and I wasnt in the mind to hear him yell at me again. <br/>He sighed deeply beside me, I kept my eyes to the empty fireplace as I felt the sofa shift next to me. <br/>"Get up"<br/>His rough voice commanded down to me as he stood up, I quickly moved myself from the couch. My knees cracking loudly as I stood upright, I grimaced at the sound. It reminded me of the sound of skulls splitting. </p><p>I looked up to Toby, he was looking to me with his usual empty and terrifying stare. He let out a huff and pushed me hard into the direction of his bedroom, his hard hands knocking the air out of me. Coughing I pulled myself into his room, he wanted me to put something else on I guess. I tore through the paper bag, he never made room for my clothes. He only says good things when others are around. <br/>I pulled out a hoodie and sweats, pulling them up ontop of the leggings and t-shirt I was already wearing. Putting socks on I zipped up a pair of boots Jeff gave me, he said he got them from a friend but he probably got them from someone's house. I didn't care. I had shoes, and I was grateful. And I was silent. </p><p>Silent as I was harshly pushed out the cabin door. Stumbling on the steps barely catching myself as my feet landed hard into the frozen grass. I gasped, the air was sharp and burned my throat as it traveled down into my lungs. I blinked hard as I retook my footing on the grass, it was bright and cold, the sun high in the pale blue sky. My eyes stung as I looked up to it. <br/>My vision adjusted slowly to the woods around me, the large and looming trees warned me to not enter, that I'd get lost. I turned wearily to Toby, he slammed the door hard behind me. Not bothering to lock it, I dont think he ever had locked it. I never even thought of running out of it, I'd never be that brave. </p><p>He turned and looked to me, a fake smile was shot my way. He hated me and I knew he did, his eyes spat venom at me as his cold hand grabbed mine and tugged me along the beaten path into the woods. I kept my eyes onto the back of his head, watching the pattern of his tics knock away as we trudged through the trees garden. My ears were on alert, mostly for him. Any sign of aggression, but I only heard the sounds of out footsteps on frozen flora, and the welcoming singalong of winter birds. The cold air piled around my mouth as I breathed out, throat aching and raw from the unwelcoming air. He spoke up but I didnt listen, too preoccupied trying to colour match his hair colour in my head, bouncing from a warm Auburn, ashy brown or a deep caramel. <br/>His snap of my name caught my attention. <br/>"Angel! Are you ignoring me?"<br/>"Oh no sorry I was distracted"<br/>"I was telling you to keep watch, were being followed and I'm too busy making sure you dont get lost"</p><p>He spat the last part at me as he walked ahead, never turning to look at me. If he hated me so much why am I still alive? Surely he'd do better without me in his way. Alas I obliged and moved my attention from him to the woods around us. I hadn't realised how far in we had gone, I had no idea where we were and every way I looked seemed the same. The tall dead trees groaned with the wind, and the plants were all dead and muted. My eyes were sharp, I had that to live by. I never needed glasses for anything other than reading. Which I'd probably never be doing again anyways so no worry. <br/>As I turned my head to the left I saw the familiar shine, the kind that rolls around the barrel of a gun. It was the man outside the window, he was aiming at us. No not us, Toby. I gasped aloud and in a second of quick thinking I yanked my free hand into his hair and pulled him down onto the forest floor with a loud thud, just as he hit the ground below us the shot rang out. I was breathing heavily,  his head snapped around to me. <br/>"Dont ever grab me like that again"<br/>He hissed at me, he hadn't heard the shot ring out, I moved my hands to grip his jacket as I kept him down as best I could. <br/>"There is someone aiming at you from the left of us, hes the same guy I was telling you about!"<br/>His face changed instantly, one of his hands rested gently on mine as his head whipped around to see the figure had now moved. I was shaking, unsure of what to do and why on earth I reacted in a way that saved Toby's life. <br/>He stood upright fast and pulled me up with him, his face was nervous as his eyes quickly darted around us. <br/>"Get on my back, there's no time to run I need us out of here now" <br/>I complied, not taking a minute longer to jump myself up onto his back, my legs tightly wrapped around his waist and my arms around his shoulders. Digging into him. Not like hed even notice anyways, as long as I dont fall off I doubt he cares. <br/>And with that he began to run, expertly dodging trees and branches that would surely hit me, having to remind myself yet again that this man has been here before. Just because its new to me doesn't mean it's new to him. </p><p>The hard footsteps from my right pulled my attention from ahead to my right, the masked man from that night. The feminine face that lies to you with fake comfort, was following us. I froze and kept my eyes on him, as much as Toby was terrifying, this man was much, much worse.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Take me Away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The winds whipped past my head quickly as I clung tightly to Toby's back. His speed had us further into the forest, I didn't have time to even process the change in trees around us, from the dead seasonal to the strong and resilient coniferous pine. As I regained my senses afger my intense staring match with the masked man following us I realised I recognised the trail we were winding our way onto and I was starting to get nervous. I kept my eyes in front of me after seeing the masked man following us, out of both fear and excitement. I hadn't gotten out of the cabin since I was put into it, and sure he was scary as fuck but being not able to feel the world around me is scarier. So I picked my struggle and faced forward. <br/>To distract myself from looming memeories of the trail we were winding down I buried my face into Toby's neck, well more of my forehead but still. His smell overwhelmed me, he didnt smell bad persay but he didnt smell good either. He smelt clean, and I appreciated that. He often smelt of decay and blood, outside of the times he smelt of microwave dinners and dirty, stagnant water. His cleanliness I'm sure was in consideration of me, knowing I was so close by and could smell him. I'm sure he got even a little self conscious, as much as you can when your life is murdering people for money. He worked as a hitman, both for himself and with his friends. For bigger "problems". He never told me who employed him, if it were like a sketchy ass craigslist ad or a secret code like the illuminati. He just always got sketched out to fuck when he spoke about it and would often storm off to fuck knows where to do God knows what. And I always minded my business and kept silent, like a good kidnapee does. Like a good girl does. <br/>I grimaced at the thoughts I just exposed myself to, shaking my head as I kept it pressed to his back. His gentle warmth was just enough to keep my face from loosing feeling, although he wasn't very warm at all. He's cold inside and out. <br/>The freezing air bit me hard as we cut through it, my hair pulled harshly from the hair tie and whipping hard behind me. I closed my eyes and tried to distract myself with my own thoughts, in hope time would go past quicker. </p><p>I was very suddenly dropped to the ground, hitting a pile of soft snow with a soft thump. Letting out a small oof as I landed. I looked up to Toby who was breathing heavily, he was standing upright beside me. I looked up to him from my position on the ground, from the angle upward he was much more attractive, I usually saw him at eye level. His pronounced and sharp jaw was very complimenting to his round button nose, which was pink from the cold. His pale skin was almost translucent in greyness, his dark brown hair matching it in a harmonious pairing. His sharp features were very welcoming from a lower view, and I started to wonder if women shorter than me would find him much more attractive than I did. I began to wonder if he was popular as a teen, or as a young adult even. He had share with me recently that he was in his 20s, at which point I didnt know. He was always so vague. He turned to me and looked down to me, his dilated deep brown eyes locked right into mine. I looked away quickly, the frozen grass becoming very interesting all of a sudden, my cold fingers picking at it. I heard him sigh above me, along with the sound of his clothes moving as he kneeled beside me, the feeling of his warm hand on my side made me jump hard. Falling back into the snow again, he pulled his hand away quickly as I made eye contact with him. He looked somewhat upset by my reaction but I'm not sure what he was expecting, hes thrown me across the cabin by the skin on my back, he kidnapped me and murdered my family. I hope hes not getting any weird feelings for me, my life is fucked if he does. The weird twisting in my chest as his hand slid off my side made me grimace, I turned my head away. My eyes shut tight as I dug my hands into the cold, biting snow. Pushing myself up I stood upright, my back cracking as I did so. <br/>Taking in the surroundings around me I choked hard on my spit, my chest pounding hard. <br/>I was looking at my house, I was in my back garden. I had recognised the trail we were going down to get here but I convinced myself we weren't going here. That we would pass it, and any hope of returning to my old life would pass with it. <br/>Yet here I was, standing dumbly in the icy snow, my feet numb and my legs shaking. My eyes were glued to the faded orange wooden paneling on the outside of my old home, it made my stomach turn. I threw myself over my stomach as I violently threw up into the snow, the burn of my stomach acid chewed at the inside of my mouth as it made it's way past my teeth. <br/>My eyes watered and stung as I choked and sobbed, the overwhelming emotions shattering my psyche. <br/>I felt Toby's hand on my back, rubbing it in circles to help the process. His other pulled my hair back, he managed to grab it in time. I didnt get any vomit in my hair, I was grateful. <br/>I stayed hunched over, my hands on my knees as I spat out saliva and vomit from my mouth. My throat burned and tasted so disgusting if I could I would throw up again from that itself. </p><p>I stayed like that a while, breathing heavily with my eyes closed as I rocked back the feeling of vomiting again. Toby's hand resting gently on my back and holding my hair in a gentle comment of understanding. The compliment made me gag as I continued to catch my breath. I managed to find my voice, <br/>"Why are we here"<br/>It was less if a question and more of an insult, his huff proved to me he understood my bitterness. <br/>"You're on medication, so were to get it. And any prescriptions you have left for it"<br/>I sighed, his deep voice was raspy from dehydration and yelling. Yet I found it horribly comforting, and calming. I stood upright slowly, taking my time. <br/>I looked to Toby, he was looking at right me. I stood my ground this time however, not looking away. His deep brown eyes weren't as empty as usual, and it made me uncomfortable. He looked away from me a few moments later, eye contact seems to make him comfortable. He prefers to look at people when they dont know hes looking. What a coward. What a loser. What a waste of space. What a waste of beautiful browns. I envied his cockiness. His pride and vanity. I wanted to break him down of everything he held himself for, kill his spirit like hes done to me. Strap a metal collar to his throat and drag him by a chain. Humiliate and destroy him, truly strip his humanity from him. <br/>I continued to stare, pure hatred seeping from my very self as I did so, I knew he could feel it. He shifted uncomfortably in his position standing next to me. <br/>He can't look down on me, he has no advantage over me in height, we have similar body types. He doesn't scare me anymore. Hes brought me here to help me, but in the end all hes done is give me power. <br/>He has made me realise that my life is within my grasp, and the only one standing in my way is myself. My compliance has been my kidnapper, not this sad and afraid puppy. </p><p>I realise now what he took me for. Company. Love. Affection. Someone to put his problems on. He wanted someone to love him, he wanted to feel human again. To get something his friends can't give him. someone to hold when he can't sleep at night, someone to wake up to. Someone to cook for, to clean for, to be clean for. He looks at me like a child looks at his parent. Like a husband looks at his wife. Like a teen looks at porn. He wants it all from me, and for me to simply agree and lay for him. To open my arms, heart and legs for him. To take him all and let him devour me whole, completely taking me from humanity. Completely ending me as Angelique. And birthing me as his pathetic dependent puppy. And his only. <br/>His deep, and intimidating eyes looked at me constantly, his eyes never looking away unless I'm watching. He doesn't want me to know, he doesn't want me to catch on. But he's too late. Hours and hours and hours of thinking about all his gentle affections, of his gentle touches, of his compliments. Buying things I like, things I had back home. Inviting friends over more because he knows I like company. And now he has brought me to get my medication to help me, to sedate me. He has finally realised my internal realisation and hes afraid.  <br/>Afraid I'll leave him. <br/>Afraid he'll be alone again. <br/>He's using me to replace his dead sister, dead mother, dead love interests. He wants me to be it all, he wants me to fulfill it all. <br/>He'll do anything for me to. <br/>He'll let me leave unattended for me to.<br/>He'll bring me home for me to.<br/>He'll kill my parents for me to. </p><p>This house is the last place he will bring me. This is the last time I will willingly follow him. I'll get away from him, and I have someone who can help me.<br/>I have him, and hes watching me from the trees, I can see him behind Toby's head. This time I wont grab him down.<br/>This time, I'll let him get shot. </p><p>Afterall, he's not aiming at me.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The bang echoed hard through my ears, I shut my eyes tightly. Slapping my hands to my ears, I wasn't used to the sound of shooting so closely. It had been too long since I had been to a range, I had lost my tolerance. <br/>A few moments past, and I opened my eyes, looking to Toby, who was staring at me dumbly. The side of his head blown off, his ear gone along with a chunk of hair and skin. Blood splattered all over his face, and falling heavy down his face and throat onto his clothes. His nose was bleeding and his eyes were heavily bloodshot. But he was standing. I furrowed my brows at him in shock, he was just. Staring at me. <br/>I wasnt worried about his wound, just terrified by the fact he was standing through it. I thought he was just a masochist when I fought back at my house, but it looks like he doesn't even know what happened. Like he couldn't even feel it. He quickly switched, his face changing to a weird expression of worry. I must've had blood on myself as he threw his hands out at me, patting at me with his brows furrowed in worry. <br/>"Are you okay? Did you get hit? Where did the bullet go?"<br/>His voice was frantic and panicked, I only saw him Like this once before and it was when I had alerted him to the sniper on our way here. Who ever this guy is he terrifies Toby, I had to get him on my side if I had any hope of leaving. <br/>I looked to him again, his eyes drifted up to mine. <br/>"Its in your head"<br/>"What?"<br/>"The bullet, it's in your skull. Right here"<br/>I pressed my finger to the wound, the hole where the bullet was lodged was visible from the way he was standing. His eyes widened and his hand grabbed mine gently, tugging it away from the hole in his skull. Looking to the blood on my finger he dropped my hand and swung his head behind him into the woods, probably trying to find the shooter. But he wouldn't. He left already. He's somewhere else now. I can feel his eyes on me, but from where I have no idea. Toby is very fine tuned to his surroundings, I'm much slower. However this area of woods were in is my forte, I've lived here my whole life and I know every tree and every rock. There are alot of places to hide, alot of places to slip out of sight. <br/>If only I could get a moment of him away from me. <br/>I watched Toby intently as he whipped his head around in every direction, grabbing my forearm and pulling me up with force. I staggered and stumbled as I stood next to him, his grip still on my arm as he dragged me towards my house. My eyes watered and threatened to spill tears as the roaring ache pounded in my arm under my skin. My feet stumbling as he dragged me hard through the snow and foliage. My eyes dilating sharply as I glared at him from the side of my eyes. Venom threatening to spit past my teeth, I bit down hard. </p><p>The backdoor was pushed open with no effort, although I'm sure it was locked. I jumped at the bang it made as it bounced against the wall inside. Definitely leaving a mark, my mom would've been so upset. The wallpaper in there was fresh, and expensive. Good thing she's dead, she doesn't know anything anymore. My eyes darted all around me as I was shoved hard into the house, much to my silent protests. Toby stomping in behind me, slamming the door behind us roughly. I'd compare his mood to the weather but even Mother Nature is more accommodating than this fucking waste of semen.<br/>Although, all compliments this waste of semen won the genetic lottery. Thank god he's got a hole in his face, I can cringe at something when looking at him. </p><p>The familiar kitchen was cold and sickly looking, blood was everywhere. Splattered all over the floor and walls, it was this that made me realise the police dont know what even happened here. Our nearest neighbour's are too far away to hear any screams. My parents bodies are still in the living room. I gagged at the thought, spitting up bile onto the black tile. Toby scoffed at me, muttering something about how we all have blood. That it's nothing to gag over. Sometimes I wish I could pull his tongue out through his face and cut it off. Grab the top and bottom of his gash and pull upwards, ripping it open through his whole face. Tear his skin off and watch him bleed. Spit on his corpse. <br/>My own morbid and violent thoughts had me gagging again, shaking my head hard as I tried to chase the thoughts away. I didn't want to hurt anyone, and Toby was in that anyone pool. I wasnt going to become whatever he is, I'm not going to become a criminal. Although I probably would be justified in court. Maybe. </p><p>I turned my attention from the blood and vomit covered tiles to the cupboards around the kitchen, as Toby wandered aimlessly around I wanted to actually get something out of reliving trauma. I tore through the medicine cabinet above the sink, my nails scratching the wood uncomfortably as I peeled through prescriptions. Finally getting to the way back where the bottles were. Yanking all the bottles with a blue label and shoving them into my coat pocket. Not bothering to take the prescriptions, I dont plan on being around long enough to need them. By the time I'm out I'll be able to refill them myself. </p><p>Now that I had my pills I called out to Toby, to no reply. He wanted me to look for him. Which I was not about to do. I was not about to walk into that living room and see the corpses of my past. Instead I eyed the back door, he wasn't around to stop me if I ran out. I decided to take my chances and without a second thought I ran to the back door, swung it open and ran out into the cold air. My feet hitting the snow heavy as I ran past the trees and off the trail. I knew these woods well, I spent alot of my childhood in this area. I knew where to go. </p><p> </p><p>My breath became ragged and heavy as I forced myself to keep up speed as I weaved around trees and changed directions to keep off any kind of path. I had no doubt he would catch me if I went in a straight line. I eventually had to stop, throwing myself behind a large rock I gasped as I choked for air. Spitting up salvia as my body tried to hydrate me. The woods were quiet and cold, all but for the breathing beside me.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>